Chapter 10: Searching for a Mage (1)
There was no way I could sleep, and although I urged Thalia to get more rest, she seemed too worried about me to sleep either. ...Or perhaps she was afraid.
"What is meditation like?" Since sleep was out of the question, I ended up answering Thalia’s various questions. It seemed to be her way of easing her anxiety.
‘It’s sweet, in a childish way.’ I thought talking to someone would help me maintain my sanity, so I didn't mind.
"Is it similar to a dream?"
"It's very different. It's more like a vision... or a revelation. For a priest, it's like a warrior's training for battle."
"Like how mages research magic? I've seen that before." This time, Thalia piqued my interest.
"You've seen that? A mage?"
"I haven't seen them use magic. But they say a boy in a nearby village, who is always secluded in his house, is studying magic."
"Ah..." A sigh escaped my lips at this unfortunate news. Unless he was wealthy enough to afford a private tutor, it was likely a fool’s errand. A genius who could master magic through self-study was, by the standards of our world, as rare as a primary school student capable of handling a university curriculum. ...According to Do-wol, anyway.
"I’ll wish him luck."
"I want to be a warrior who can use magic. Though I wanted to be one of the Luminaries."
"One of the Luminaries..." If it was the Luminaries I knew, it was certainly a worthwhile ambition. ‘According to Do-wol, they’re basically the guys who do all the cool things.’ They handled monster subjugations, maintained public order, and served as guards of honor, earning them immense public support and trust. ‘They’re a problem in their own right, but...’
I suddenly noticed my hands were trembling. My breathing became shallow as anxiety washed over me. ‘In the basement... they are waiting. To cover the world with filth.’ The effects of the meditation were powerful. Because my talent as a priest was so exceptional, too much information had flowed in at once.
"Sir?"
"Hmm? Ah... I’m fine."
"No, you look pale..." Had it gotten so bad that even a child was worried? I wiped my forehead and felt the cold sweat. ‘I’m not in good shape. It’s not an illness, likely anxiety and stress.’ It was only due to my high mental fortitude that I was holding together. But I didn't know how long I could last. ‘It’s eating away at my mind slowly, and it might get worse.’
Controlling my breathing seemed to calm me a little, but I couldn't entirely escape the anxiety. No matter how strong one’s mind is, a human remains just a human. Eventually, the Outer God’s madness will swallow me.
‘Thinking about it... how did I know how to meditate?’ There was no way Do-wol had taught me. When «Systems» was just a game, there was no need to explain such a detailed method. ‘Besides, I had never played the priest class, so I was particularly lacking in knowledge on the subject.’
So, how did I know about meditation? The source of this unnatural knowledge was clear. Those who gave me this knowledge had to be the Formless Creations. ‘I was tricked. Cunning bastards... I didn't notice at all.’ At first glance, it seemed they had helped me, but the reality was different. It was a scheme to slowly corrupt my mind without my knowledge and make me join them. That was their goal from the start, and it will remain so.
"Thalia. We have to part ways here." For now, my mental strength was only slowly deteriorating... but now that I was certain the Formless Creations were secretly working and affecting me, I didn't want to drag her into this any further.
"I’m fine, really!"
"Honestly, my condition isn't good. If I were you, I would never travel with me."
"Is it that bad?" Thalia’s expression turned serious, and I nodded. I appreciated her concern, but it was better for her not to get involved with me any further.
"Yes. You’ll be safer if you go on your own." I said it with all seriousness, but Thalia sighed and shook her head.
"No. I’ll be safer if I go with you."
"I’m not just being hunted by the Church of Life, I’m dangerous myself, do you hear? Monsters are targeting me." Even now, from deep within the earth. They are waiting for my fall, the collapse of my soul.
"Sir. Do you really think I’ll be safe if I go on my own?" Thalia looked at me seriously. "They’ll hunt the Matron’s group and they’ll hunt you. If we part ways now, how many days do you think I’ll survive?"
"Surely you’ll be..."
"I understand you’re a dangerous person. But at least for now, you aren't harming me." Thalia approached, her voice firm. "Do you have any idea how safe I feel because of you?"
What was she talking about now? As I stared at her, puzzled, Thalia glanced around. "Honestly, isn't it too quiet? Besides that rabbit, how many other animals have we encountered?"
Thinking about it, there were almost no animals. "That’s because we’ve lit a torch now, and wild animals generally avoid people."
"Since I started traveling with you, I haven't had a single insect bite." Thalia’s words surprised me. Now that she mentioned it, this forest... should be full of mosquitoes and such, yet I hadn't been bothered once.
"Animals might be one thing, but monsters aren't afraid of fire." She was right. Thinking back to my time playing «Systems», I remembered being attacked by monsters in the forest. "This forest is a bit better because the Luminaries clean out the monsters regularly, but that doesn't mean there aren't things here that can easily kill a person."
My own memories confirmed that. The mobs I encountered while playing «Systems» were weak, but not so weak they couldn't kill a person. ‘And they were extremely aggressive.’ Do-wol often described them as attacking after seeing fire or smoke, or catching a scent.
"No matter where I go, I have to pass through a forest. You know how high the chances of dying from a poisonous insect or a monster are, don't you? If I’m with you, I don’t have to worry about any of that."
I had to admit, Thalia’s words were logical. It seemed my way of thinking was still stuck in the modern world.
"You have a point." I thought she’d be safe without me, but this world was full of threats to one's survival. ‘The reason we haven't been bothered by a single insect... is it because of the Outer God’s aura?’ An Outer God’s aura is something all normal living beings avoid and feel revulsion toward. Animals and monsters, with sharper senses than humans, would feel it instinctively. ‘Is this a change from using Forbidden Transformation? Though that hardly counts as a change.’
Thinking about it, does Thalia not feel anything? As I wondered, it seemed Thalia thought I was still hesitating.
"And I’m not that little. I’ll be an adult soon."
"...That is what it means to be little." Thalia scowled at my words. Her reaction made me think that a child is a child, after all. Still, I could see she wasn't sticking to me simply because she had no one else to trust.
"What is your problem now? If it’s the book, can’t you just burn it?" I shook my head at Thalia, who was looking at the scripture. You don't lightly destroy something influenced by an Outer God.
"The problem is that my mind is starting to slip. You know how everyone who gets involved with an Outer God goes insane, don't you?" Thalia nodded quietly. A flash of concern appeared on the face of the girl who had been so firm a moment ago.
‘It’ll take eons to get a sacred artifact like a Dragon Vessel, and there’s no guarantee I’d get one in the first place.’ It would be great to get one, but I had to set that as a long-term goal and come up with a solution for the immediate problem.
"...Do you happen to know a village with a mage? A real mage."
"I heard there’s a mage who settled near the village of Milien."
There was one! My face brightened at her words. Honestly, I thought it would be hard to find a mage in this remote area!
"Why a mage?"
"A mental stabilizer. I need that potion mages always keep on hand." It was supposed to be for maintaining a stable mental state while researching magic. It wasn't an incredibly powerful potion, but it should be able to cure my current level of anxiety.
"And I might be able to get other help from them as well." If that mage was a 'Potion-maker,' they might be able to create other potions to reduce or stabilize mental damage. If they were a 'War Mage' specializing in combat, I might be able to hire them as a mercenary.
"Do you happen to know what kind of mage they are?"
"No, just that they never leave their house..." A mage immersed in research, perhaps. There was a high chance they were a potion-maker or an 'Enchantment Mage,' someone who works from a workshop inside their home. ‘If it’s one of those two, they’ll definitely be a big help.’
I made up my mind. Considering the mental stabilizer alone, meeting that mage was my top priority. ‘...Agh, what is this?’ A sudden chill ran down my spine. It was a completely different feeling from the anxiety I had felt until now. ‘Better hurry.’ Another problem might have already begun to surface. There was no time to lose.
"So, let's get to Milien village as fast as we can. I need to meet the mage there and ask for help."
"Milien is in the direction we came from, isn't it?"
"Haaaah... we have to go back. What can you do." Sighing, I lay down on the ground. I could see countless stars dotting the sky. They were beautiful, but in this world where Outer Gods exist, were those stars truly safe?
"I can't sleep. I wonder if this is another side effect."
"If you can't sleep, let's leave immediately," Thalia said as she packed her bags.
"You need to sleep more."
"I’m too worried to sleep anyway. I think it’s better for both of us to start quickly..." Thalia hesitated for a moment before continuing. "...I want to meet a mage."
"Haha, me too, actually." I laughed at the unexpected common ground and pushed myself to stand. I managed to suppress my growing anxiety with a sense of longing and anticipation for magic.
"Alright, let's go. We might not be able to stay in the village, but if we're lucky, the mage might host us for one night."
"A mage? Won't a mage hate having guests in his house?"
Is that true? I wasn't sure about that, but there was one thing I knew for certain. From my experience playing a mage before... "Mages are always short on money. They always lack research funds." I shook the bag of jewels to show her, then started walking.
Thalia, showing no signs of fatigue, took the lead. Still, not a single monster, abomination, or even insect appeared. "There really isn't even an insect here." That rabbit that had just fled its burrow must have been incredibly unlucky.
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